When trauma causes us to abandon ourselves, it can cause various symptoms such as depression, anxiety, relationship issues, worthlessness, and so much more.  Self-abandonment usually begins in childhood.  It is a learned pattern and a trauma response.  When the people who are supposed to love you mistreat you, abuse you (emotionally, mentally, physically, or sexually), do not meet your needs, or do not support you, you learn that you are not worth loving. Therefore, you abandon yourself just like they did.

You then repeat the patterns of self-abandonment in childhood when you become an adult and choose friends and partners that mistreat you too because that is what you know… it is familiar to you.  You honestly can not know how to be there for yourself when no one else has before, in childhood or adulthood.  However, there is hope, and healing can happen!

It begins with you having compassion and kindness with yourself.  That can be as simple as sitting with your feelings rather than stuffing and denying them as you have always been taught.  It may have never been safe to express your feelings when adults in your life did not show up for you to allow that to happen.  Now that you are an adult, it is your opportunity to be there for yourself.  It is your time to begin healing yourself and loving yourself.  After all, no matter where you go, there you are!

Also, begin using your voice.  Stand up for yourself and set boundaries within yourself and with others.  This can be scary but very empowering.  When you allow someone to take advantage of you, you are abandoning yourself.  It is okay to use your voice and advocate for yourself.

You can begin changing the patterns in your life and showing up for yourself.  It takes one step in that direction, and before you know it, you will have that self-love you have always wanted within yourself!

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